


The Best of Lines, The Worst of Lines

by Marta



Category: Lord of the Rings (2001 2002 2003), Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Silmarillion - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, First Lines Challenge, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-25
Updated: 2004-05-24
Packaged: 2017-10-17 04:36:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/172973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marta/pseuds/Marta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My responses to Ang's "It Was a Dark and Story Night" challenge: write the best first lines for the fics we really do not want to see. (I am the child of journalists, so bad puns are in my blood. You have been forewarned.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. SWM Steward Seeks Wife

Denethor leaned out of the balcony of the Steward's House -- he would have fallen over, if not for his brother's restraining arm, and would have gladly endured the pain to be closer to her -- as he tried to catch a better glimpse of the beautiful Lady of Dol Amroth; she proved that it was not only Dol Amroth's broodmares that surpassed all the others, and he wondered if his flesh would ever burn for any beside her.


	2. It's True, You Don't See Many Dwarf Women

"You didn't see many dwarf-couples, Gimli mused: most preferred craft, or could not find a suitable wife due to the shortage of dwarf-women; and those who could have had any dwarf-woman they wanted -- himself for instance -- seemed to prefer the elfness of certain Valar-blessed princes of Greenwood."


	3. So, you say you're unsquickable?

Frodo's freakily large eyes looked up at Smeagol bearing down on him and, as he pushed him off the cliff outside Shelob's lair, he remembered fondly that night on the stairs to Cirith Ungol, that one night they shared after Sam had fallen asleep.


	4. Boromir Meets His First (Half-)Elf

Boromir's eyes passed over the five empty bottles of miruvor and the lovely, equally hung-over twin sons of Elrond passed out on the riverbanks as he continued his futile search for his pants; suddenly he was rather glad he was 110 days from home.


	5. What Lady of the Golden Woods

No, Eomer decided, there was no Lady of the Golden Woods -- a sorceress, yes, but she had proved herself no lady that night he strayed into Dwimordene last summer.


	6. It's the Story...

Here's the story of an elf named Finwë,  
Who adored his first wife with love's purest flame,  
But their fiery son, ooh what a temper:  
She died, and he's to blame;

And it's the story of a gal named Indis,  
Who gave her husband two sons tried and true;  
Yet he loved them not like his first boy,  
No matter what they'd do.


End file.
